Right Speech.

I heard someone gossiping this evening and it hurt, deeply. It wasn't about me, or anyone I know, but the anger and judgment that was being expressed hit me like a punch to the gut. In Buddhism there are five precept, like the Christian ten commandments, rules to live by in order to lead an ethical and peaceful life. Refrain from killing, refrain from stealing, refrain from sexual misconduct, refrain from false, harsh and idle speech and refrain from intoxicants that cloud the mind. Seems pretty basic but I learned a valuable lesson this evening on the effect words can have on those who hear them.

I am guilty of having a very foul mouth, swearing just comes naturally, and I've always felt that I had every right to swear if I wanted to. If you don't like it, don't talk to me. Many times I've made my family cringe with the expressions I use for pain, frustration, and even excitement. " Fuck" is my favourite word and I use it liberally and often as well as a few other choice nouns that I won't elaborate on here. I have never placed myself in the listener shoes, never considered that my language could be alienating or just down right offensive to anyone within earshot. Tonight I finally heard with "new ears" that words have power. Something I already knew in theory, and of course people's words have hurt me before, but perhaps because it is easier to care about someone else than for myself, tonight I really felt and reacted to what I was hearing.

Over the last ten months I have gone through some amazing and sometimes scary changes. Leaving behind my old ideas and gaining new ones, learning to think outside of my own little life and to place my faith in something bigger than myself. Perhaps the next item on my personal housecleaning should be to watch what I say. To say what I mean, mean what I say and speak in a voice that carries a message of honesty, inclusion and kindness instead of anger and exclusion. That is the reason we swear, exaggerate, and gossip, isn't it? To make ourselves feel superior, to shock, to rebel against social norms and values, to let others know that we are so cool that we don't give a damn what you think. Fine for a teenager, but at my age, a little sad. If I am put on this Earth to be of service, to be compassionate and loving to all sentient beings, and to live mindfully, than on a most basic level it stands to reason that my speech, the tool I have been given in which to relate to the world around me, needs to be in line with those aims.

Of course I'm going to need a thesaurus, because I just don't know another word that can mean so many things and be used in so many ways.

Ah fudge!
J.